Breaking the silence: Healing from Maternal Narcissism and neglect – Part two

If you’ve made it here, it means you’ve already taken one of the most powerful steps in any healing journey: you’ve dared to name what happened to you. In Part one, we unpacked the two faces of maternal narcissism—neglect and engulfment—and how they affect daughters both as children and as adults.

Now, it’s time to look forward.

In this article, we’ll explore the healing process: what it looks like, what makes it so difficult at times, and what tools and practices can support you on your way. Whether your mother ignored your needs or overwhelmed your boundaries, recovery is about more than just survival—it’s about reclaiming your story, your power, and your sense of self.

 

Recovery is possible, but it requires intentional effort and support.​

Recovering from Maternal Narcissism and neglect is possible, but the process will require conscious effort and focus.

Healing for daughters of ignoring mothers

Self-validation: Affirm your feelings and experiences as legitimate

One of the most healing steps for daughters of emotionally absent, ignoring mothers is learning to validate their own inner world. If you grew up with a mother who acted as though your thoughts and feelings didn’t matter — or worse, didn’t even exist — you likely internalized the belief that your emotions were excessive, irrelevant, or somehow shameful.

As an adult, you may find yourself second-guessing your emotional responses or struggling to trust your own perspective. Healing begins with the courageous act of saying: what I felt was real. Your experiences — no matter how dismissed or denied by others — are valid. Practicing self-validation involves tuning in to your emotional landscape, naming what you feel, and reminding yourself: “This makes sense, given what I lived through.” You don’t need external confirmation to trust your inner truth. Reclaiming that inner authority is a radical and necessary step toward self-worth.

Inner Child Work: Nurture the neglected parts of yourself

Neglect doesn’t just leave an emotional void — it leaves a part of us frozen in time, waiting to be seen, loved, and held. For daughters of ignoring mothers, inner child work can be one of the most transformative practices. It involves connecting with the younger version of yourself — the little girl who longed for a mother’s presence, comfort, and attunement — and beginning to offer her what she never received. This can take many forms: writing letters to your inner child, visualizing her and offering soothing words, or simply acknowledging her pain with compassion. You might say, “I see you. You didn’t deserve to be overlooked. You mattered then, and you matter now.” Nurturing your inner child doesn’t mean living in the past — it means integrating the past with care, so you can move forward with greater emotional wholeness.

Inner Child Work is a rewarding healing path for the daughters of neglecting narcissistic mothers.

Therapeutic relationships: Engage in counseling to build trust and emotional expression

When your earliest relationship was one of emotional abandonment, it can be hard to trust others — and even harder to express your own emotional needs. Therapy, when held in a safe and trauma-informed space, offers a powerful container for healing. Through a consistent and attuned relationship with a coach or therapist, daughters of neglectful mothers can begin to unlearn the idea that their feelings are too much or that their needs are a burden. Therapy also offers a space to practice emotional expression without fear of being dismissed. Over time, you learn to build emotional intimacy — first with yourself, and then with others. It’s not about becoming dependent, but about discovering what secure, responsive connection feels like, perhaps for the first time.

Healing for daughters of engulfing mothers

Boundary setting: Learn to assert your needs and limits

Daughters of engulfing mothers were often treated as extensions of their mother’s emotional needs, rather than as separate individuals. In adulthood, this can lead to a deep fear of setting boundaries, saying “no,” or disappointing others. You may feel consumed by the needs of others or unable to differentiate between your desires and theirs. Healing requires learning to identify your own limits and asserting them — even if it feels deeply uncomfortable at first. Boundary setting is not an act of rejection; it’s an act of self-preservation. It’s okay to take space, to say “I’m not available right now,” or “That doesn’t work for me.” Each time you hold a boundary, you affirm your right to exist as a whole, separate person — not just as someone else’s emotional caretaker.

Identity exploration: Discover personal interests and values

If you grew up with a mother who dominated your choices, opinions, and even your inner world, it’s likely you’ve spent much of your life adapting — performing the version of yourself that felt safest or most acceptable. But who are you underneath all of that? What do you enjoy, believe, desire? Identity exploration is a joyful and liberating part of the healing process. It can start small — experimenting with hobbies, expressing your style, exploring spiritual or political views — and gradually lead to a deeper understanding of what defines you. This is not selfish; it’s foundational.

You’re allowed to be curious about yourself. You’re allowed to be different from your mother. And you’re allowed to live a life that’s aligned with your authentic self — not someone else’s image of who you “should” be.

Identity exploration is a necessary step for daughters who want to break free from the entanglement with their engolfing narcissistic mothers.

Autonomy development: Make independent decisions without seeking approval

One of the legacies of maternal enmeshment is chronic self-doubt and a compulsive need for external validation. You may find yourself constantly second-guessing your choices, wondering, “Will this upset someone?” or “What will they think of me?” Healing means slowly learning to trust your own judgment and give yourself permission to act independently. This doesn’t mean isolating yourself — it means reclaiming the right to lead your own life. You can choose your career path, your relationships, your way of parenting, your rhythm — without needing your mother’s approval or anyone else’s. It’s about shifting the internal compass from what do others expect of me to what is right for me? Autonomy is not rebellion — it’s adulthood.

 

Empowering tips for all daughters of narcissistic mothers

Educate yourself: Read literature on narcissistic abuse to understand your experiences

Knowledge truly is power — especially when it comes to making sense of a confusing, invalidating childhood. Reading books like “Will I Ever Be Good Enough?” by Karyl McBride, “The Narcissistic Family” by Pressman & Pressman, or “Mothers Who Can’t Love” by Susan

Forward can offer not only insight, but deep emotional validation. These resources help you recognize patterns, name behaviors, and reframe your story through the lens of trauma and recovery. The more you understand what narcissistic abuse looks like, the easier it becomes to disentangle your identity from the lies you were told about yourself. Education can be a gateway to empathy — for yourself and your younger self — and can guide your next steps with clarity.

Join support groups: Connect with others who share similar backgrounds

There’s something incredibly healing about hearing someone else say, “That happened to me too.” Support groups — whether online or in-person — offer a powerful reminder that you are not alone.

You’re not crazy. And your story is not an isolated incident. Connecting with others who grew up with narcissistic mothers can provide emotional relief, practical tools, and a sense of belonging. It can also challenge the shame you may have carried for years in silence. In community, healing becomes more than just an internal process — it becomes relational. Witnessing and being witnessed by others who understand the weight of this journey can make all the difference.

Joining support groups has proven to be of tremendous benefit to women seeking to share their story and challenges with others who have similar backgrounds.

Ready to walk this path with support?

If you’ve recognized parts of yourself in this article—if the wounds of maternal narcissism still echo in your relationships, your confidence, or your sense of self—know that you are not alone. Healing is possible. And while reading, journaling, and group support are all incredibly valuable, sometimes what you need most is someone walking right beside you.

That’s where personal coaching can make all the difference. As someone who has lived through this very journey—raised by a narcissistic, neglectful mother and shaped by the silence and pain that followed—I know how heavy this path can feel. And I also know what’s possible on the other side. In a 1-on-1 coaching trajectory, I offer a safe, compassionate, and empowering space to help you untangle the deep-rooted patterns, reclaim your inner strength, and start living in alignment with who you truly are.

If you're ready to reclaim your life and fully step into your potential—as a woman, partner, leader, parent, friend, and human being—let’s talk.

Book your free discovery call now via email: hello@unlockyourbestself.today.

I’d be honored to walk this path with you.