Breaking free from invisible chains: Understanding and overcoming “Learned Helplessness”

Have you ever felt trapped in a situation, convinced that no matter what you do, nothing will change? This paralyzing mindset is known as learned helplessness, a psychological phenomenon where individuals believe they have no control over their circumstances, even when opportunities for change exist. This belief can keep people stuck in unhealthy relationships, unfulfilling careers, or limiting self-perceptions, preventing them from unlocking their true potential.

Learned Helplessness truly feels like a prison.

What is Learned Helplessness?

The concept of learned helplessness was first studied in the 1960s by psychologist Martin Seligman and his colleague Steven Maier. They discovered that when individuals or animals experience repeated negative situations where they have no control, they eventually stop trying to escape—even when presented with an opportunity to do so.

This phenomenon isn’t just theoretical; it manifests in real life in various ways. Whether it's someone staying in a toxic relationship because they believe all relationships are doomed or an employee feeling powerless to change a hostile work environment, learned helplessness can severely limit a person’s ability to act in their best interest.

Learned Helplessness is often developed from a young age due to the conditioning in childhood.

Scientific experiments demonstrating Learned Helplessness

The Dog Experiment

One of the most well-known experiments on learned helplessness was conducted by Seligman and Maier.

• They divided dogs into three groups:

  1. The first group was placed in a harness but was not exposed to shocks.

  2. The second group was subjected to mild electric shocks but could stop them by pressing a lever.

  3. The third group also received shocks, but pressing the lever had no effect, making them feel powerless.

     
     

• Later, all the dogs were placed in a shuttle box, where they could escape shocks by jumping over a small barrier. The dogs from the first two groups quickly learned to escape, while those from the third group remained passive, not even attempting to avoid the shocks. They had learned that their actions were futile, even though they now had control.

The Human Experiment

This principle also applies to humans. A study involving loud noises showed similar results. Participants were divided into groups where some could control the noise level, while others could not. When given a chance to escape, those who had previously learned that their actions were ineffective didn’t even try.

The conclusion? Repeated exposure to uncontrollable situations creates a mindset of resignation, impacting decision-making and motivation in everyday life.

The elephant and the twig: A metaphor for learned helplessness

A powerful real-world example of learned helplessness comes from the way elephants are trained in certain parts of India.

• As baby elephants, they are tied to large, immovable objects like trees.

• They pull and struggle, but they cannot break free.

• Over time, they stop resisting.

• As adults, weighing several tons, they can be restrained by a small stake in the ground—because they no longer believe escape is possible.

Despite their physical strength, these elephants remain trapped by a mental limitation, just as people remain stuck in self-imposed limitations.

An enormous elephant can be made powerless and entirely controlled through the principle of Learned Helplessness.

Recognizing Learned Helplessness in your personal life

Learned helplessness can subtly infiltrate daily life. Here are some signs:

• Avoiding challenges: Believing that trying something new is pointless because past failures predict future outcomes.

• Negative self-talk: Saying things like, "I’ll never find a fulfilling job" or "I’m just bad at relationships."

• Procrastination: Postponing goals out of fear that effort won’t lead to success.

• Dependence on others: Constantly looking to others for decisions or validation.

• Resignation in unhealthy situations: Staying in toxic relationships or jobs due to the belief that nothing better exists.

Real - life example:

Sarah always wanted to start her own business but grew up in a family that struggled financially. Whenever she thought about pursuing her dream, she heard her father’s voice in her head: "Running a business is too risky—stick to a safe job." Even though she had the skills and resources, she convinced herself that failure was inevitable and never took action.

Learned Helplessness in the professional sphere

This mindset also limits career potential. Signs include:

• Lack of initiative: Avoiding new projects due to fear of failure.

• Low aspiration levels: Not seeking promotions or raises because of self-doubt.

• Poor performance: Losing motivation because success seems unattainable.

• Avoidance of feedback: Fearing criticism as proof of inadequacy.

• High absenteeism: Missing work to avoid stressful challenges.

Real - life example:

Tom worked in a high-stress corporate job with a demanding boss. Over time, he stopped offering ideas or taking leadership roles because previous attempts had been dismissed. Even when offered a promotion at a different company, he declined, convinced he would fail.

Generational transmission of learned helplessness: The Flea Experiment

Another striking experiment demonstrates how learned helplessness can be passed down through generations:

• Scientists placed fleas in a jar with a lid.

• The fleas jumped but hit the lid repeatedly.

• Eventually, they adjusted their jumps to stay below the lid’s height.

• When the lid was removed, the fleas continued jumping at the same height, never escaping.

• Even their offspring, born in the open jar, never jumped higher than their parents had learned to.

The Flea Experiment.

This experiment mirrors how limiting beliefs—about success, relationships, or money—are passed from parents to children.

Real - life example:

Emma’s mother believed that "women shouldn’t be too ambitious" because her own mother had struggled financially after pursuing a career. Even though Emma had multiple opportunities, she found herself self-sabotaging, never pushing for leadership roles.

Healing from Learned Helplessness

The good news? Learned helplessness can be unlearned. Here’s how:

1. Awareness & acknowledgment

• Recognize limiting beliefs and challenge them.

2. Setting small achievable goals

• Start with small successes to rebuild confidence.

3. Cognitive restructuring

• Replace thoughts like "I’m not good at this" with "I can learn this."

4. Mindfulness & self-compassion

• Practice meditation and journaling to track progress.

5. Seeking support

• Surround yourself with mentors and role models who challenge limiting beliefs.

The role of coaching in overcoming Learned Helplessness

A coach provides:

• Objective feedback: Identifying blind spots in your thinking.

• Personalized strategies: Tailoring an approach that works for you.

• Accountability: Keeping you committed to breaking limiting patterns.

• Building self-efficacy: Helping you reclaim your inner power.

• Emotional support: Offering encouragement when self-doubt creeps in.

Ready to break free?

If this article resonated with you and you’re ready to step into your full potential, I invite you to take the next step.

Book a free discovery call to explore how 1-on-1 coaching can help you transform your mindset and unlock new possibilities. Email: hello@unlockyourbestself.today

Remember: The first step to change is believing you can. Let’s take that step together!