Facing your light: Why stepping into your power can be scarier than embracing your darkness
- An-Karlien
- Feb 10
- 5 min read
The insight that changed everything
After an intense year of deep training to become a trauma coach, I walked away with many insights. But one hit me the hardest: Facing our light can be just as scary—if not scarier—than facing our darkness.
I had always thought the hardest part of personal growth was dealing with pain, fear, shame, and self-doubt. And sure, those things are tough. But what about actually stepping into our power? What about embracing our potential, taking responsibility for our impact, and truly owning what we’re capable of? That, I realized, can feel even more overwhelming.
Think about it—when you’re dealing with pain or self-doubt, at least you have a clear “problem” to work on. There’s something to fix. But when you step into your power, suddenly there’s no excuse. You have to show up. You have to take risks. You have to face the possibility of success—and all the expectations, changes, and responsibilities that come with it. That’s terrifying.
"Our deepest fear…"
This reminds me of a famous quote by Marianne Williamson:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”
At first, this idea felt counterintuitive. Who wouldn’t want to be their best self? But the more I reflected, the more I saw how true it was—not just in my own life, but in the lives of the women I work with.
I’ve worked with women who had incredible ideas but refused to speak up in meetings. Women who dreamed of starting their own businesses but stayed in jobs they hated. Women who knew exactly what they wanted in a relationship but kept settling for less. Not because they weren’t capable, but because stepping into their full power felt too overwhelming.
Understanding Light and Shadow
We often talk about shadow work—facing our wounds, fears, and limiting beliefs. That’s important. But there’s another side to the coin. Our “light” is everything we are truly capable of—our talents, strengths, and the full force of who we can be.
And that’s where things get tricky. Because stepping into that power means no more hiding. No more playing small. No more excuses.
It’s the difference between saying, “I’d love to write a book one day” and actually sitting down, writing the damn book, and putting it out into the world. It’s the difference between dreaming about quitting your job and actually handing in your resignation. It’s the difference between wishing you had a healthier relationship and actually having the hard conversations, setting boundaries, and refusing to settle.
The many ways we avoid our own Light
You might be afraid of your own potential if you recognize yourself in any of these:
You do what’s easy instead of what you know is right. You take the safe route, avoiding the challenge of pursuing what truly matters to you. Maybe you stay in a job that doesn’t fulfill you because change feels scary.
You keep knowledge in your head but don’t apply it to actually change your life. You read self-help books, attend workshops, and listen to podcasts, but when it comes to actually implementing what you learn, you hesitate.
You keep repeating the same patterns instead of learning from mistakes and trying something new. You attract the same toxic relationships, react the same way to conflict, or procrastinate on the same dreams year after year.
You blame others instead of owning your part in situations. It’s easier to say your boss is holding you back, your partner isn’t supportive enough, or your circumstances make it impossible—rather than taking control and making a change.
Your inner critic runs the show, keeping you stuck in self-doubt. You talk yourself out of opportunities before you even try, convinced that you’re not ready, not talented enough, or not deserving.
You let fear stop you from taking action toward your dreams. You wait for the “right time,” the “perfect plan,” or the moment you feel 100% confident—none of which ever come.
You stay silent instead of speaking your truth because you don’t want to upset people. You hold back your real thoughts, opinions, or needs to avoid rocking the boat.
You shape-shift to please others, instead of being unapologetically yourself. You dim your personality, soften your ambitions, or downplay your successes so others don’t feel uncomfortable.
You hold back kindness and compassion out of fear of being taken advantage of. You want to help, love, and give, but you’re afraid of being seen as “too much” or getting hurt.
You stay in outdated family patterns, even when they no longer serve you. You follow traditions or expectations that feel suffocating simply because that’s how it’s always been done.
You wait for life to change instead of taking responsibility for your own happiness. You believe “one day” things will be different, but you’re not actively making the necessary changes.
You shrink, downplay, or minimize yourself to avoid making others uncomfortable. You don’t celebrate your wins, voice your needs, or take up space because you don’t want to be “too much.”
Sound familiar? You’re not alone. This is what it means to be afraid of our own brilliance.
What happens when you step into your power?
When you stop running from your light, everything shifts.
At work? You stop waiting for permission to lead, share your ideas, and ask for what you’re worth. You start applying for the promotion, raising your hand in meetings, and owning your expertise.
In relationships? You set boundaries, communicate openly, and stop people-pleasing. You no longer tolerate disrespect, unavailability, or anything that drains you.
With yourself? You trust your gut, take action, and show up fully—no more self-sabotage. You stop overthinking and start doing.
It’s not always comfortable, but it’s worth it. Because playing small serves no one.
Ready to stop holding back?
If any of this resonates, maybe it’s time to stop fearing your light and start fully stepping into it. You don’t have to do it alone. If you want support in breaking free from self-doubt and embracing your full potential, let’s talk.
📩 Book a discovery call: hello@unlockyourbestself.today
🌍 Learn more: www.unlockyourbestself.today
“Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.”
Marianne Williamson
The world needs your light. It’s time to shine.
Have you ever felt like you’re holding yourself back—not because you’re afraid to fail, but because you’re afraid to truly succeed? This article dives into why stepping into our full potential can feel so intimidating. I’d love to hear from you: Have you ever caught yourself dimming your own light? Let’s talk in the comments!